But I found that it's still a jungle. While before I was working in the concrete jungle of Manhattan, I now find myself in the midst of a much crazier jungle. The people are smaller and speak in different dialects/languages at times, but its way more demanding than the Big Apple!!
When I quit my job, 1 week before Lucas, my youngest son, was born, I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish right away after starting my new job at home. Obviously I had momentarily forgotten I was 9 months pregnant. I then decided it would be best to soak up that last week with Nicholas, my middle child and just enjoy life with two kiddos before it got crazy with a newborn again. Ah....much better!
Of course, soon after coming home from the hospital, I decided that a 1 week old infant was old enough for me to start tackling that long list of things I wanted to incorporate or do. Honestly postpartum hormones can do a number on a person's brain! I clearly wasn't thinking straight, AGAIN!
Several times I've looked around me and wondered why it's been so hard for me to accomplish the things on my list! I think in these moments, I must forget that I have 3 children, 5 and under, because apparently I have very unrealistic expectations of myself and what life would look like staying home. Some days, just keeping the house from crumbling around me is victory in and of itself!
I'm learning to expect less of myself in my new role. To be less upset when my plans don't go like I'd hoped. To remember I'm dealing with children, not adults, who when overtired and grumpy can themselves be toddler-like. And surprisingly, as I've let go of those expectations a bit, I'm accomplishing more. Is my list super long still? You bet! Do I expect to have it all figured out and accomplished before Lucas turns 6 months old?