we were young. 15 and 17. over the next couple of months, Jose would walk me home from church, occasionally pick me up to go to church and we'd spend time together while at church. That was pretty much the extent of it. And honestly, with hardly any time together, we didn't really get to know each other that well. I knew I really liked him and I thought he was pretty cute, but that was about it. Things quickly started to go downhill. A few people didn't approve of the relationship as I was American and Jose was Peruvian. Nothing good could come from it! A missionary, close to our family, who I'm sure meant well also, told me that I really needed to be careful. Peruvians only dated to find a spouse and I was young and probably didn't want to start thinking about marriage yet, so it was best to not show too much affection (holding hands at church) or spend too much time together because people and Jose would start to get the wrong idea. That scared me (although when I told hubby this later, he said that was really not true and the farthest thing from his mind) and I started to panic! I was 15! No where near ready to make a long term commitment. He was my first boyfriend, for crying out loud!
As I shared these fears with my good friend from our church, he encouraged me to maybe rethink my decision to date Jose. The more we talked, the more I was convinced that while I did like him, we didn't really do anything together and I didn't want anyone getting any ideas.
The youth group went bowling one night together and afterwards went to a park nearby to hang out and have ice cream. I took that opportunity to talk to him and we ended up breaking up. It's weird, because as soon as I did, I knew I'd made a mistake. But, its hard to take it back at that point. I think I was more devastated than he was and sobbed all the way home.
That night, worried that he would stop coming to church because he was a new Christian and it would be awkward to be around each other, I wrote him a note, begging him to forgive me and also begging him to keep coming to church. It was funny because I think I ended up breaking my own heart too, I was so devastated.
That note was the first of many that we exchanged over the next couple of weeks. As I read his notes to me, I became more and more convinced that I had made a mistake and some how, through those notes, became smitten with him all over again. We got back together shortly after.
I wish I could say that was it and that we've been together ever since, but no...
...I broke up with him again 2 more times.
And again, as soon as we broke up, I felt that pang of loss in my heart. Granted I was young, but he somehow just made such a difference (still does) in my life that I immediately felt like I was the one that had lost.
Wouldn't you know it, notes again passed between us as they would between a 16 and 18 year old :) and before long, I was sure I'd again made such a big mistake. During that time, my friend from church also revealed his feelings for me and I was furious with myself for having listened to him when he clearly was pushing his own agenda.
Church camp with camp fires and warm, toasty feelings brought us back together for the 2nd time. I was sure this time we would be together for a good long time, and when we did break up, it would be for good. And...we lasted almost an entire year!
If you missed last week's post, part 1, check it out here